“Mom, where did I come from?”

“Dada, what’s a condom?”

“Nana, how come my brother and I have to take separate baths now?”

“Tio, when will I get pubic hair?”

Whew! Having children in our lives can bring up a lot of embarrassing questions we may not know how to answer. Never fear - Mandy Taylor, MSW, is here to help you navigate how to have safe, respectful, age-appropriate conversations with the young ones in your life.

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Language

  •  Use medically accurate words (vulva, vagina, penis, scrotum, anus)

  •  Use gender-inclusive language (for individuals and hypotheticals)

  • Smash the patriarchy

 Consent at Every Age

  •  Role model consent verbally and non-verbally

  •  Verbally point out good consent practices

  •  Verbally point out consent violations

Resources

 Books

Guides for parents:

  • Arnett, Jeffrey Jansen. Emerging Adulthood. 2nd ed. Oxford University Press, 2015.

  • Gore, Ariel. The Hip Mama Survival Guide. New York: Hyperion Books, 1998.

  • ———. Whatever, Mom: Hip Mama’s Guide to Raising a Teenager. Emeryville, CA: Seal Press, 2004.

  • Kindlon, Dan, and Michael Thompson. Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys. New York: Ballantine Books, 2000.

  • Leach, Penelope. Children First. New York: Vintage Books, 1995.

  • Levine, Judith. Harmful to Minors: The Perils of Protecting Children from Sex. Minneapolis: University of Minneapolis Press, 2002.

  • Medhus, Elisa. Raising Children Who Think for Themselves. Hillsboro, OR: Beyond Words Publishing, 2001.

  • Pipher, Mary. Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls. New York: Riverhead Books, 2005.

  • Rayne, Karen. Breaking the Hush Factor: The Ten Rules Every Parent Should Know Before Talking with Their Teen About Sex. Austin, TX: Impetus Books, 2015.

  • Roffman, Deborah M. Sex and Sensibility: The Thinking Parent’s Guide to Talking Sense About Sex. Cambridge, MA: Perseus Publishing, 2001.

  • Siegel, Daniel J. Brainstorm: The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain. New York: Jeremy P. Tarcher/Penguin, 2015.

  • Vernacchio, Al. For Goodness Sex: Changing the Way We Talk to Teens About Sexuality, Values, and Health. New York: HarperCollins, 2014.

  • Weil, Zoe. Above All, Be Kind: Raising a Humane Child in Challenging Times. Gabriola Island, BC: New Society Publishers, 2003.

 

Books for Young Readers:

  • Blank, Joani. A Kid’s First Book About Sex. San Francisco: Down There Press, 1993.

  • Blank, Joani, and Marcia Quackenbush. Playbook for Kids About Sex. San Francisco: Down There Press, 1981.

  • Bryan, Jennifer. The Different Dragon. Two Lives Publishing, 2006.

  • Gravelle, Karen. What’s Going on Down There?: Answers to Questions Boys Find Hard to Ask. New York: Walter & Company, 1998.

  • Harris, Robbie H. It’s Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex, and Sexual Health. Cambridge, MA: Candlewick Press, 2004.

  • Harris, Robbie H. It’s Not the Stork: A Book About Girls, Boys, Babies, Bodies, Families, and Friends. Cambridge, MA: Candlewick Press, 2006.

  • ———. Who’s in My Family?: All About Our Families. Cambridge, MA: Candlewick Press, 2012.

  • Herthel, Jessica. I Am Jazz. Dial Books, 2014.

  • Kilodavis, Cheryl. My Princess Boy. Aladdin, 2010.

  • Loulan, JoAnn, and Bonnie Worthen. Period.: A Girl’s Guide to Menstruation. Minnetonka, MN: Book Peddlers, 2001.

  • Madaras, Lynda. The “What’s Happening to My Body?” Book for Girls: A Growing Up Guide for Parents and Daughters. New York: Newmarket Press, 2000.

  • ———. The “What’s Happening to My Body?” Book for Boys: A Growing Up Guide for Parents and Sons. New York: Newmarket Press, 2000.

  • Mayle, Peter. “What’s Happening to Me?” A Guide to Puberty. New York: Lyle Stuart, 2000.

  • ———. Where Did I Come From? New York: Lyle Stuart, 2000.

  • Richardson, Justin. And Tango Makes Three. New York: Little Simon, 2015.

  • Schiffer, Miriam B. Stella Brings the Family. San Francisco: Chronicle Books, 2015.

  • Silverberg, Cory, and Fiona Smyth. What Makes a Baby? New York: Seven Stories Press, 2015.

  • ———. Sex Is a Funny Word. New York: Seven Stories Press, 2015.

Information and Help

1 (206) 866-2279 Scarleteen’s Sex Ed Questions Text Line

https://www.scarleteen.com/ Scarleteen – Sexuality and Relationships for Teens

Text HOME to 741741 Crisis Text Line

1 (800) 230-7526 Find your local Planned Parenthood

1 (800) 799-7233 Domestic Violence Hotline

https://www.thehotline.org/ Domestic Violence Chatline

1 (800) 656-4673 Sexual Assault Hotline

https://hotline.rainn.org/online Sexual Assault Chatline

1 (800) 273-8255 Suicide Prevention Lifeline

1 (800) HIT-HOME Youth Crisis Hotline

1 (800) 96-YOUTH LGBTQIA Youth Talkline (limited hours)

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